• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

I guess we spent a lot of time together in August… I have good memories.

Like that weekend we got pizza and just hibernated in the house watching movies. It was little glimpses like that where I knew that is something real. That is the life I want, with you.

By now I’m really recognizing that I need to do really hard work on myself. The reality of the depth of work finally came to surface and I opened up to you about my past.

It might have been the night at the vineyard I told you, I can’t remember.

You were very supportive. I will always appreciate that. To this day, you’ve been supportive when it comes to that issue. Thank you. At times, I still want to reach out and ask your opinion or thoughts on how I should navigate this. I know I can and I know you’d be there for me, if I chose to.

August was really our last month, in my opinion that resembled anything of a relationship. I don’t know if I can even say that really. We just spent a lot of time together. I knew you were in touch with The Friend. That hurt. I saw that she was coming. That hurt.

Again, at this time all it was about was pushing me away. I do really believe you need time to figure out what you want. I do really KNOW I need to heal and be whole, for the first time in my life, so that I can be the best partner.

In September, for the first time you were really honest I THINK. From July you were open about the fact that you needed some time to figure yourself out. You wanted to stabilize yourself. You are actively working on that and I think it is really good. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Honestly thinking about the last part of 2020 drains me and I need a break from this.

I have thoughts about September, Novemeber, December, and I will write it out.

What I want you to know most is that…

I loved you
I wanted you
I wanted a peaceful life for us
I want you to find peace
I want peace for myself
I’ll always wish it could have been us, forever. Always.

I just wonder, where do I go from here. I’m feeling strong and I’m feeling empowered to continue working on myself. There is plenty of work to do. For certain. I hope you don’t forget about me. And I hope I brought some joy to your life.